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"I should like one day to spy some female (attractive preferred) licentiously lifting her dress and exposing her shapely nude ankles. Though I know it veers dangerously close to self-pollution, the very thought (which I only permit myself to ponder for no more than ten seconds, after which I put on a hair shirt and jump into a tub of iced water, where I then have Hooboo, my Negress housekeeper, thrash me with a length of braided cord whilst I recite the rosary) causes blood to route to my unspeakables. I am glad this "messaging-board" is anonymous, as such knowledge would surely be the end of my wife, whom I believe is named Eliza. I love her dearly, but our relationship has not been the same since my beating-cane broke and I had to resort to more creative methods of reprimand, such as sticking pins in her feet the time she dared to address me by my first name in front of mixed company. Advice welcome."
I'm looking for a blind, Amish guy to ravage me sexually. He must be squattish, warty and have no leg hair. He must prove his Amishness either through a certificate of authenticity or by bringing a newly made piece of Amish furniture. Preferably oak.
Me: Blond, 5'4", 110 lbs. Tattoo of Ed McMahon on my right cheek and Olivia Newton John on the other.
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registered: 10/27/2001 00:00 posts: 2428 and all that jazz.
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