|
Thanks man, yeah... see, I dunno, she's always been brutally honest with me and she thinks our relationship is great. She just isn't ready to "commit", as she puts it. She doesn't want to move in, get married, all that junk -- yet. I think she just wants to experience other things first. I understand that. At the same time, I wish she hadn't waited until now to do this stuff. I mean, she moves at her own pace, whatever... but it just feels like I've just invested so much time, emotion, and uh.. money.. into our relationship. For nothing. Or is it nothing? I dunno. I'm sure it won't be nothing. It'll be something, forever. But maybe not the something I want it to be, for a while.
Me and her just connect in every single way two people can connect. She likes noise, violent films, weird Japanese shit, uh... bizarre sex... and she's an amazing musician.. she's so talented. I mean, she's really just.... let me put it like this: Even at her worst, she's still the best. To me. I really don't think another guy would offer her what she wants.. most of all, I don't think they'd appreciate what they have with her. She's truly unique. She's not flawless, obviously, but damn.
I'm going to tell her that I'm not going to sit around and wait for her to make up her mind about shit... but in all honesty, that's exactly what I'm going to be doing. Maybe not sitting and waiting around persé... but I definitely have no plans to actively try to find a girl who could replace her or something.
I might have to accept the fact that she's changing -- for the worse. If she ends up being a shitty person, that's okay... it'd be easier then. But if she stays cool, I wanna be with her!
Eh. Things will work out. It's really only been uh.. I guess, 9 days now... since we had this discussion about things... there's still this huge air of uncertainty to things... I think, ultimately, that she has nothing but problems and worries with whatever path she goes around and I don't really have anything to lose here. Because, again, I'm not trying to sound cocky, but she's not going to meet a dude better than me... or at least, not a dude that would love her as much AND understand her AND put up with her shit AND etc........
I think things will work out for the best. I may have written this above, but she said that dating other people would allow her to put our relationship into perspective more and to appreciate me more. She was with other guys before me but she didn't really do anything with any of them beyond just hang out at school or whatever. So, yeah.
__________________
|