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Originally Posted by pbradley
At the very least, I would expect his girlfriend to have let us know.
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Hahah.
Therein lies the problem.
I won't have a girlfriend!... For much longer.... maybe.
I hate to be whiney and mopey over a girl. We're still together but she said it probably won't be for much longer. She doesn't have a problem with me or anything, either. Ack, I don't want to post too much since she reads this board occasionally but eh what the hell. She's moving away, supposedly, soon, like a thousand miles away. There's some dude she met down there that she's "getting to know". Now, don't get me wrong, I trust her okay, she's not going down there to be with that guy ... but she certainly isn't ruling out the chance of eventually dating him ... and, it's so weird, we don't technically have any problems between us. Hell, she even admits "I'll probably never find someone as good as you." But she wants to be single (and, I guess, date other people maybe...)... do this independant-woman thing... put our relationship into perspective... be on her own for a bit... now, she has no real way to accomplish the things she wants to do (no money, no real support besides me, etc.). I'm glad she wants to go out and do things. The reason I "can't" go with her is because she wants me to follow my own dreams, she doesn't want me to "follow" her. She needs a long vacation for herself, to find out who she is. All that is well and good, but turning her back on someone she's been with for over 6 years -- when we have no real problems? The only "problem" we have is we were supposed to get a place together next month but she's scared to commit and so she's doing this... thing... she's doing now... to get comfortable with committing to me, eventually?! That's how she explained it. Now, my girlfriend is no whore, I know she's not going to go and fuck a bunch of guys. I also know she doesn't selfishly expect me to wait for her to find out whatever she needs to find out.
Still, the whole thing seems a bit.... pointless. If I may be so bold as to characterize what she wants to do in her life as "pointless". Maybe pointless is a bad word -- UNNECCESSARY (which I don't know how to spell) is more like it. We love each other more than anyone else... why are we going through this bullshit? I give her space -- if she doesn't want to talk for days, I don't call her or see her. I don't control any aspect of her life. Stupidly, I don't even yell at her when she is pissed off at me.. I've never even raised my voice to her. In 6 years. Maybe I should've?
All this stems from issues in her personal life, dating back to when she was a child. Various... well, you can assume, I won't tell what she's been through, but I definitely understand why she is the way she is and why she's doing what she's doing. I am pretty confident that if she does this then she's going to end up coming back to me anyway. So, really, it's not anything I'm
worried about -- it's just that, things are going to get a whole lot more needlessly complex and ridiculous, just because she's too afraid to go out and enjoy her life right now, here in the place she currently lives in. See, most of her family is up here -- the rest is in Florida. She wants to be with her Florida family. She feels like she belongs down there. We go down there and visit occasionally. Admittingly, her Florida family is cooler, and there are a few people she talks to on Facebook/Myspace (mostly girls, but, yeah, some dorky boys too). Whereas here.. she has no friends whatsoever. I mean, she does, but she doesn't visit them. She really just... doesn't do anything except sit and stare at the television and space out. If I wasn't for me, she wouldn't get out and do ANYTHING -- and I have a tough time convincing her to do things, anyway. She feels like she "belongs" down there. I keep telling her to not run from her problems, to appreciate what she has here -- like, why the hell would you leave ME, someone who would and has done everything for you? She'll even admit that there's no problems between us. THe only thing she's said is that she feels like our relationship has dulled a bit (which is understandable -- we've been together 6 years and were best friends for 4 years before that!) and has been kinda routine for the past year. I wouldn't disagree -- my aunt died, and I've been dealing with lots and lots and lots of shit since then, and I certainly haven't been as fun and adventurous as usual, until recently. And then, just as I was getting better, this bombshell was placed upon me.
SO, I dunno what the fuck is up. I don't know why we're even dealing with this. And if she does date other people........... well.... I dunno. I dunno if I want that ... uh ... thought ... I guess. Does that make sense? I don't think she's going to go fuck a bunch of dudes or something, I don't think she's going to go move in with somebody, and I don't think she's moving down there just to date guys or get away from me. Besides, I feel sorry for any potential boyfriends of hers because they have a lot to live up to (not bragging or anything.. just saying... how many guys do you know would wait 17 hours in line to get their girlfriend a Wii?? How many guys do you know would watch/live in their girlfriend's parent's house for 10 days, for free? How many guys do you know would spend 6 months filling a 200 page notebook of 1000 reasons why they love their girlfriend? And so on and so on and so on and you get it...). I mean, jesus, if I can't make her happy, no one can.
So, that's where I'm at and what I don't get. I've explained to her all these logical, common-sense-like solutions to her problems, because whereas she doesn't know anybody, I know EVERYBODY. I'm popular, I've hung out with tons of people, and ... quite frankly... I know how the world works. She doesn't. I can't fault her or blame her and again I understand why she's feeling the way she does, but I've tried to explain that she doesn't need to leave this place, yet, and especially not leave me... to be happy. This other dude she's talking to is not very interesting or likeable and really has nothing to offer that I don't give her tenfold -- she's just excited that someone else is paying attention to her, because no one else ever has. At first I will admit that I was jealous but then I looked at the guy and realized that there's absolutely nothing exceptional about him. And he's already acting like he loves my girlfriend, even though he barely knows her, and telling his friends all this shit, stuff that doesn't make my girlfriend comfortable at all, but she's too nice to say anything to him because she thikns if she says something to him that he won't pay attention to her anymore, so her philisophy is "let him think what he wants to think" when it should be "man, this guy is kinda fucking creepy......"
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