[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Kyle

It can happen you truly want to support, you know how deep the problem is and you don’t want to cover the shit up, you’re truly ready to face it and lend a hand. But the other pushes you away like : « I’d better keep you away from my shit cause you’re gonna get hurt and you’re gonna suffer… »

Does it mean they’re just not ready to face the problem themselves and they feel like they can’t do anything, so they simply prefer to get rid of you ?
Some way to stay in denial maybe...

Sometimes you just want to support and you truly end up feeling like you’re just bothering and you’re a pain in the arse.

eh, sometimes people want to stay stuck in their own shit, it's what they know, and you can't "make" someone do something they don't want to do. they have to be ready. they have to want it. they have to say, at some level, "im sick and tired of this shit". because if they're going to be too busy enjoying it, they're just going to say no.

then there's the defense mechanism people have. shit like "i can control my addiction". or how everyone who has fucked up parents claims "my parents are alright", or even worse, "my parents are the greatest". or stuff like "i turned out ok after all". that's shit people tell themselves in order to keep themselves together because facing the pain of recognizing the truth would hurt too much. and when that happens without proper channels, people can go crazier than even before. so everyone spreads a little bullshit on the top. it's human nature.

that why i so much prefer shrinks than well-intentioned advice-givers. when it comes to dismounting those defenses and "helping" people look at their own bullshit, they know how to do it delicately, carefully, methodically, intelligently, so as not to cause more damage and more retreat into defenseland. and when finally the floodgates of hell are wide open & spewing all the garbage out, they know how to handle it with care. a lot of training goes into it. of course not everyone is as good as competent as they should be, but the odds are way better.

as for civilians/friends/family simply prodding people to do something about their shit-- i really don't care if im just bothering and im a pain in the arse-- if i am, ha ha, so be it! i don't give a shit-- i have more important things to do than look good. what i mean is, if i was insecure about the usefulness of what i am proposing, or the pain that people are stuck into, i would have doubts. but because i don't (well there are reservations for everything, but..)-- but because i don't, i can take some shit in return, knowing that it's worth it, you know what i mean? as for my time pestering cankers, i think it's time well spent, she's far from stupid.

but anyway, if you as a friend think you can call your friend's bullshit, realize that you can only do it to a point, and it's better to have someone who knows-- without knowledge, and training, you can't get into their brains without getting burned and without fucking them up as well. so there's a boundary there you have to respect. you can't force people.