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Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead
!@#$%! I'm gonna send you a PM so maybe we could have a private conversation, there are some things that I might want to bring up that I shouldn't bring up in a public forum.
edit: Eh, actually I don't need to bring those things up because they aren't really important.
Well the reserves definitely aren't for me if I'm gonna end up in the middle east.
I'm just at a loss of what to do really.
People just seem to want me to be a worker drone "You're good at x, go back to school and become y" is what everyone tells me. I just don't really see the point, you know?
I just look at that life and it doesn't look like it is for me. Some of them don't make much money, some of them make a lot of money.
I think what I need to do is get a job and get a car. Then I can commute to the city and play a lot more shows and actually get paid for them, meet new musicians, jam with them, and keep doing the music thing. I don't really care if I make money. I just wanna do what I love. I don't want to be a little white collared worker like everyone else. I don't really mind living with my parents. If I just have enough money to pay for gas, keep new strings on my guitars and them all up to par and serviced, I think that would go a long way.
It is just hard for me to really take control of my life for some reason. I can tell myself what I need to do but I have a really hard time doing it. I'm 21 and I don't have a fucking license. I didn't get one when I was 16 because I had no friends and no reason. When I was 18 I tried to, but I almost got in 2 accidents and then later my wallet was stolen from me including my learner's permit. And that sort of traumatized me. Then I went to college for a year and didn't need one. Then when I came home I was a WOW addict until I turned 20.
I started to turn my life around by really delving into music and my parents were opening an antique store, so I was helping a lot with that and thought I could work there. . . but that didn't pan out. Meanwhile odd-jobs kept me afloat with cash to do what I needed.
Part of the problem is I just have a really hard time doing things, taking the big steps. I've always had a hard time pursuing girls, all that stuff. Sometimes I just need to say "I gotta do this today" but that isn't how a lot of things work. If I try to be patient, it turns into procrastinating and forgetting followed by depression followed by will by a need for patience once more and back into the loop.
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Oh man, I know what you mean. Don't do that, I know what I am saying I was thinking of joining the Army as well, but realized I am not that kind. I get horrified and traumatized quickly. My mind is not up to the army. Also growing up sucks, I have been dealing with this for some time now, there are other factors that are involved with my depression. Maybe college isn't for you, try a vocational school or just get a part-time job.
I know that I will have to repeat this semester over, but I don't care because I am seeking help, and that is all that matters. And what i really want is to get better, there is still time for me to do something with my life, I am only twenty-two. You will find something to do, trust me. You are just going into the mode most of us early twenty-something people are going through. We are at that stage when we have to figure out what to do with our life.Especially if we come from lower-income families, we have no options to fuck around, and that leads to much more pressure. So my suggestion is really think about your options, and research it.