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Indeed. This conversation seems to turning in quite a morbid direction, but I don't mind.
My funeral will be a sad affair. It will probably rain, but I hope not. I'd like it to be sunny. My tombstone will be quite simple, perhaps a bible quote on it or some strange poetry. My wife won't sing at my funeral, because I know it sounds bad, but I want her to die before me (this is if I get married at all). That way I'm not leaving anything behind when I leave. There will be music, perhaps just a recording of me singing something a capella.
Afterwards, everybody will retire to a post-funeral social event where people can mingle, nibble on snacks, and discuss how great I was and how I am 'with Jesus now'. Before the festivities commence, a video will play of me sitting a chair in a lavish garden, much like the start of the original The Italian Job film.
"Hello. If you are watching this, I am dead!", etc. Final messages, video will, bada bing bada doom. Gone.
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