Look What I Found In My Bible
 

I scanned this last night. I truly believe that I was experiencing a divine intervention. I was about to sell my soul to Stephen Malkmus





It says RIGHT THERE that Steve Shelley and his minion Mark Ibold are the righteous kings.

If you don't believe me.. then you are a sinner. REPENT, SINNERS.

My favourite bit in the bible is the bit about the dinosaur.

Sonic Youth take that dinosaur on tour with them. It's a Dutch dinosaur who recites the Prophecies of Steve for 1.25 for anyone who wants to learn the Path of Shelley.

you haven't gotten to revelations yet? it says manowar come down to the earth to sacrifice the whole human race to save the metal. then glenn danzig appears and they battle for the good will of network television.

actually, i have not. but i will read it now. that battle is the only reason humanity survives anymore (other than our TRUE SAVIOURS STEVE AND MARK). i have read the whole chapter about the resurrection of glenn branca that will happen in a thousand years. shit was messed up, man..

There's a good chapter dedicated to stories of Jesus's last days as a prostitute, where he sold himself and the nail holes in his hands and feet on the treacherous, dirty back alleys of Las Vegas for crack.

I won't spoil the ending for you, but it involves Colonel Catfish, a wager on a race around the world and many, many crude references to the fact the disciple Paul died thru anal bleeding due to sphyllitic pyschosis

that comes right after the one about how thurston and lee actually were asian mansluts in silver lame hot pants to earn money for guitars, right? that story about jesus made me cry. because those back alleys are just horrible.

yeah, anal bleeding sucks. not as much as leakage, though. not that i know.

at least with leakage you can make a nice spicy cocktail

with shrimp, that cocktail is orgasmic

i cant rep you again. but that was genius in every way.

i'm a genius like that :)

bump

Nothing about Kannberg in revelations?

i like the old testament better you know? where syd barrett brings a plague of locusts on roky erickson's pants or when lydia lunch seduces pete townsend to part the red sea with jimi hendrix's flamming guitar at woodstock.

i also like the part about the pterodactyls.

danny- if you read closely.

every-e- REP.