nights of the living lost sy board
 

OK, listen up, gang. This is the first in a series of short stories for the SY board, similar in fashion to the Sonic Gossip story's part 1 and 2. We each take turns writing appraximately a page, keeping the style and themes of the previous writers page. Got it? Good! This first one is a silly one, but maybe in the future once we are more into it, there will be even a serious story! O, the possibilites!!! Here we go. OH! ONe last thing. When you want to write the next part, you must claim it, and then edit that post with yr page.

It started just as any ordinary saturday... sonic youth board members scurrying about on laptops and desktops, fighting and refuting other boardies.
At about 12:54 am HaydenAsche gets on and starts talking about Xiu Xiu and the Yellow Swans, and how he has better musical taste then everybody. Shortly after, Cantankerous shows up and starts being cynical. Hip Priest and Pookie are already at the infinitely thread?!?! and others.

While some board members lay sleeping in there cozy beds and sitting pondering existence at their respective hated places of employmentn others were enjoying their time, laughing and joking and poking fun at one another and prank calling Chris Habib.

Little did all these fanatiks and hooligans know that this.. would be the first of many, many Nights... of the living lost sonic youth board!!!


**ruff draft

(please k-krack,post the "rules" for this thing,i don't have the strenght...)

You're THANKED!!! (now get writing!)

what's in it for me?

respect.
No one has done anything!!!???

my head hurts too much to be funny or to write anything, i'll try later.

i am so confused.

It came with a bang. It came with a crunch. It came as Finding Nobody was eating his lunch. The servers crashed, the motors gave out, and the forum slowly sank out of the sky, like a setting sun. The forummers wailed, cried, and posted sarcastic comments about the situation.

Schizophrenicroom peeked out from behind her book, and began to type. As always, she came up with something that really wasn't related to the conversation.

At this point much of the board was still unaware of the fate that had befallen them: topics were debated, games played, pm's sent, all by members who had no idea whatsoever of their situation. But gradually, as threads were started and protestations made, the fact of their new exiled existence was made clear to them.

so, are we on the plane yet?

I DONT Get it

little did they know that cryptowonderdruginvogue, the pilot of the plane, had taken several doses of lsd. His breath smelled of raw tequila as he stumbled through the passengers. He pulled out a gun, and pointed it at Norma J. That dirty australian had no idea of what was coming to him. Crypto pulled the trigger and pieces of brain splattered on the person sitting next to him... the Pork. Crypto then poked out porkys eyeball with his revolver, squished it in his hand and shot porky in the face. He then proceeded to cockpit and the plane was back on track.

He handed his co-pilot, Daycare Nation, a beer and they popped on Rather Ripped.

"reena" blasted from the stereo as they became rather ripped themselves. "hee, i am rather ripped!", crypto giggled. schizophrenicroom, everyneurotic, and danny himself stumbled onto the place. they too were rather ripped. "PARTY! WE GOT MOTHAFUCKIN'.. SNAKES ON THE PLANE" danny announced.

Richard Pryor on Fire skimmed the posts, dissapointed that he had not benn mentioned yet. He always felt unnapreciated on the board, he then felt his pants tighten and realized the SY board was just something he did when he was done jerking off, and began to look for more pron.

You've read my signature, right?

Getting back to the immiment danger and chaos brewing, the SY board was now completely engulfed in e-flames, burning away at the corpses of the few unlucky dead, namely, Norma J, Porkie and Cryptowonderblahblahdumbname (who had just died from drug overdose and alchohol poisoning) and Daycare, (who commited suicide over the loss of cryptodumbname and his Rather ripped cd skipping). The remaining boardies, undead, kept on keepin' on, still unaware of the brewing TERROR to be beheld!!!

Hayden quickly brought Porky back from the dead. He proclaimed "He's still the sexiest man alive, regardless of the missing eye and the whole zombie thing." Hayden was quickly distracted by his need for nicotine and lit up a cigarette. Cantankerous walked out of a bathroom drunk as hell and offered everyone lines. Hayden and others quickly obliged.

All of the sudden, turbulence kicked in. Schizophrenic room looked around and said "Wait, who is driving this muthaphucking plane?"

Her answer came quickly, the motherfucking snakes were driving the motherfucking plane.

Business carried on as usual for another good half hour with everyone drinking and smoking. Only a few lonely lurkers were left sitting in their seats as everyone else was walking around.

As with common fashion, the snakes made a quick stop at a local Westside Liquor to pick up more booze. Fortunately, those motherfuckers can land a plane in a tiny ass parking lot.

About another hour later, over the atlantic ocean, Samuel L Jackson, who obviously lurks on the boards, stood up and took care of the snake problem, forgetting one thing, no one else can fly a plane. Samuel L Jackson was quickly thrown off the plane and the other boardies held on for dear life. Except for Porky, he was already dead.

The plane landed on a desert island and who should meet the boardies there? None other than diesel and vodka goblin...

...and sharks! Streetsharks, water sharks, every kind of shark imaginable. All inhabiting the island and surrounding waters. The few living boardies (oh, did "I" mention it was a crash landing?!) escaped the carnage and wreckage of the former plane, current rubble heap.

Hayden exclaimed "shet muan, do'wy eva' need a fukkin cigurette!" (he aquired a really weird accent ater the crash) and reached into his pocket... Coming up empty handed, he started to bawl his eyes out, eventually leading to his suicide.

Thus, bring the death toll to Marilyn Monroe, Porkie, cryptoridiculouslylongname, daycare nation, hayden, and the few who died on the crash (haven't been identifeied yet).

You killed me off, ass.

wrong, you are now a zombie, retard. you just wait, yr gonna be eating peoplos brains like theres no tomorrow. If yr good, i'll let you scr00 porky in the story.

YES. Zombie pr0n. Can I smoke when I'm a zombie?

If you can find some goddamn cigarettes. You better get writing!

cryptowonderdruginvogue, who had never really died (he was just stuck in a k-hole) decided he would gather some wood and shit to start a fire. On his quest, he came across a carton of cigarettes, a lighter, and 2 hot bitches.

Crypto and his 2 hot bitches then started a big camp fire, he threw the carton of cigs in the fire because of his strong dislike towards 'em. He then threw Norma J and Porkies corpses into the fire so that they would not come back as zombies. One of the bitches then tore HaydenAsches penis (so he wouldnt try and gay zombie rape any of the dudes on the island) and threw it into the fire.
Crypto and his 2 bitches then went to bed and got some rest because they had a long day ahead of them tommorow. Their plan was to find the rest of the board members and try to setup some form of government on the Island.

...but they failed miserably, after crypto came out of the closet to the two lasses, and they murdered his ass hard. (Oh, and everyone knows that fire doesn't kill zombies, head destruction does.)

But getting back to the story, all the live ones were having a small party in memory of the board, around a giant roaring fire made entirely of love and sex and rock and roll. All the while, the dead boardies finally awaking from there deep deathly slumber... *


*(now comes the killin' parts.. please, get to the killin' parts someone!)

Sonic Susie wandered out of the woods and her brains were quickly eaten by porky and Hayden.

...but that was the rumor. crypto was still alive and straight.
he then decided to live outside of the community with his 2 beautiful ladies forever.

Hayden proclaimed "Thank God that faggot crypto left!"

After the first brain-eating incident, much blood was shed, and many lives were lost on that island. Pookie lost his 'life' to his old pal Porkie after a bloody battle, Porkie now having only one arm and no face. Who needs a face when yr a zombie, though.

RIPFrey had been slaughtered on his birthday in a massacre of zomboardies, becoming one of "them", and eventually taking fourteen lurkers and Lurker with him.

Aside from these deaths, many others were killed, but far too gruesome are the details... I don't want to talk about it right now...

As the board members searched the island they stumbled apon John "Chief Super Butt Cheeks" Violence who was resting his head on the chest of Motley Crue Frontman Vince Neil.

(At least write a paragraph or two, Johnny boy!)

Mister Violence, as he was drifting off to slumber, was completely unaware of his company, silent, undead, and hungry. The now "dead" board member, the former Daycare Nation, lurched forward, mumbling ever so softly "brains... brains... rather ripped rooolz lawlzzz....brains..." until the place where John Violence was dreaming of dreaming and green light...

Daycare attacked, going straight for the neck, biting into the warm, smooth flesh, tearing the airways open, spattering blood everywhere, on the sand of the beach, the Vince Neil, and Daycare's rotting, burnt face...

kracko kracko bo backo banana fana fo facko me my mo macko krackoo

You're lucky you even get a sentence from me bitch!

YOU WUZ JUST KILLED OFF, BEEYOTCH!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!!! (Write a paragraph and find out who you eat!!!)

Trasher02 shoved a crayon up his nose and died.

The End!

...We'll have none of this "The End" Bullshit. FUCK YOU, THRASHER!!! (keep on going, someone)

Little did everyone know that somewhere in the distance lurking in the shadows was the guy known as Joel "finding nobody" Switzer. He planning something big at this point. Only God and Joel himself knew what kinda shit was about to go down.