How much is insecurity a part of love?
 

I mean, I've seen the lovers, I've been part of the quarrels, the inane, sometimes insane hostility and antagonism... Why do people fall in love? Is it to allay their fears and insecurities? I mean, I know the feelings and emotions that drive relationships, I've just never given much thought to the underlying thought that drives those emotions. And it gets me wondering... Why do people love?

Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.

scientific research shows that in the female brain a chemical is produced after sexual intercoure that is believed to be the chemical that makes women fall in love. i don't entirely believe this though.

I've also read that males are naturally predisposed to fall asleep after sex, thereby ensuring they do not run away after copulation and the female will have the benefit of someone protecting themselves and their young. So I guess for guys, it's who you can fall asleep with.

too godamn right it is.

It's also not much more than self-preservation isn't it? I guess for all our postulating and theorizing, it doesn't get any better than that, does it? All the romance and gloss, it's just about making sure your seed is passed on. :(

that's the first time i heard a scientific explanation for that. it does assume that all men are naturally born bastards though, doing a hit-and-run on the woman if they don't fall asleep right afterwards. :D

That much is true.

insecurities are mostly inverted, and the concept of love is being totally extroverted and being selfless to the other person and giving up yourself (which only works if the other does so)

so im sure alot of relasionships are based on insecurities, but if that is so you have to look at whether it is "love", and it very well maybe, just not a healthly, strong, bonding love.

this kid is wise beyond his years, though i admit i don't understand half of the post. and yet...


what soap opera is that?

Yeah, I guess if love is selfish and rooted in insecurities, it's because both parties are insecure and selfish, in which case; is it still love? Is an insecure, selfish person capable of love? Or is love completely and utterly pure, like untouched snow? :o

EDIT: golden child, I just realised you meant 'introverted'. I was scratching my head, thinking how insecurities can be 'inverted'.

love is more of a concept, a perfect ideal to reach for.
you may want this perfect love where you are selfless and giving up all those insecurities but no one is perfect, the most primal instinct is your own self interest and your own personal surival so its impossible to be totally extroverted, but its something to strive for and something that can be improved on as a relasionship strengthens. so maybe love is more a willingness and desire to give be selfless even though it isnt always manifested.

oh, introverted? perhaps. but most people act out their insecurities in such an extroverted way....

(just have a look around)

hehe, yeah i guess.

introverted meaning selfish motives, by being so insecure they are worried about their own wellbeing.

It's totally Hollywood, the screaming and crying; maybe that's why I feel like this love has taken its toll on me... :p

I think the issue isn't so much getting rid of insecurities or solving them, but simply sharing them. Having someone to suffer and enjoy life with in every way, good and bad. Someone that will stay there and not disappear within the slow fade of love, as passing friends and girlfriends/boyfriends do.

That sounds beautiful... One of the ideals of love... Somewhat amoral though, it may seem...

there's all kinds of "love", but the most melodramatic one is when vapor from the gonads reaches the brain & wreaks havoc with the higher brain functions-- ayayay....

The concept is, but personally I think morals are one of the most important things that can be shared in love. They are a prime cause of joy and suffering.No kidding. People that do that bug me so much that I think it has established in me an insecurity about acting insecure...

mark my words:

vapors-from-the-gonads

"Gonad." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 23 Jul 2006, 06:39 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 7 Aug 2006 <http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?...oldid=65336934>.


"The gonad is the organ that makes gametes. Gametes are haploid germ cells. For example, sperm and egg cells are gametes.
In males, the gonads, known as the testes, secrete the class of hormones called androgens. The predominant androgen in males is testosterone. In females, the gonads, known as the ovaries, secrete estrogen and progesterone. The dominant estrogen is known as estradiol, which is derived from testosterone.
The gonads are controlled hormonally by luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) secreted by the anterior pituitary gland. The anterior pituitary gland's excretion of LH and FSH are, in turn, controlled by the hypothalamus's gonadotropin-releasing hormone.
Gonads start developing as a common anlage, and only later are differentiated to male or female sex organs. The SRY gene, located on the Y chromosome and encoding the testis determining factor, decides the direction of this differentiation.
Although it can refer to testicles or ovaries when used in a medical context, the slang use of "gonads" (or "nads") usually only refers to testicles. The usage of such is similar to "balls." The scientific name for male gonads is testicles."

Too many unfamiliar words. Can't...see straight...

does the article mention how they emit hot vapors that can infuse the brain and disorient the mind? that's more alchemy than science, but i swear it's true.

I think those vapours are 'hot', but only if they're mine... Hehex

speaking of hot vapors, i was heating up this ring to bend it back into shape with a lighter and i touched it too soon and it burned my fingers so bad that there are white marks.

White Light/White Heat

for a minute there i also read the title of this thread as "how much is insanity a part of love"
the answer:
a lot more than you'd expect

I actually expect it to be quite a big part... Not necessarily that I think it's true, just I have this suspicion it's so... Then love is, as acousticrock said, not much more than an idealized version of Fabio and some nubile, estactic woman with flowing tresses...