Friends that disappoint
 

My good friend says he is too old to be in a band at 35 and is quitting on me. I think it is because he has a new girlfriend and doesn't want to be away from her even one night of the week. Go waste your life (and talent), at least you aren't wasting mine anymore.

Yeah, what a pussy. There's nothing worse than being muff before mates.

Lol!

:p



Anyway, what was it Dylan said - "you shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you?" - ultimately everyone will let you down if you depend too much on them for your own sense of well being.

Personally I'd rather fuck a girl than be in a band with your 128kbps hating ass.

"You mixed down the track to LESS THAN WAV QUALITY? You goatfucking cunt!"

perhaps he just truly felt he doesn't wanna be in a band anymore?

As long as we're on that subject . . .

Can someone mix down (and post) the Sonic Youth set from ATP this past weekend - to "MP3 Quality" and post the link here?

I hate playing bands most of the time; rehearsing, pulling your ass while everyone else is lazy, compromising sounds etc. I'm a lot more happy working away by myself. Though that's maybe because I've yet to find someone to play with that's on the same wavelength as I am (and is competent in what they play/can understand basic theory but that's a whole other argument).

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZPGJCNMW

At least I'm not the dumb shit that takes being handed a sample rate that was last legitimate 15 years ago. haha. FUCK THAT SHIT.

Not when his story changes from week to week. He loves music too much... I think he is just being a big, scared, sensitive, pussy.

Fuck it anyway... I'll just compose myself until I find musicians that have a backbone.

I guess everyone has experienced the feeling being let down by his/her friends. That's just the evolution of friendship. Sometimes they do something awesome that contradicts their disappointing behavior, sometimes it's better to walk the plank.

I like working by myself ok... but it usually turns into this masturbatory ego trip. It needs another persons point of view to take it to a better place. I went to school for audio engineering and know basic theory so I can definitely relate to having my time wasted by Craigslist people from the lazy depths of hell.

I tend to think girls make guys a little too wonky like that. In youth anyway, I don't know about at 35. All of my friends when they got girlfriends initially they effectively stopped hanging out with us for a long time.

The biggest case was the other half of my band in our senior year of high school. We would practice three or four times a week. Then after he met his girlfriend (who he later married, which was sweet) he would spend every nanosecond of time with her. Get up early in the morning, take his shower and then speed to her house and spend 35 minutes with her before school began. Lots of little things like that. He effectively ended our band for half a year because of that. He wouldn't ever hang out with us anymore until the summer. And even then at first it would be a struggle to get him to hang out for a couple of hours.

That whole year he'd do things like that that pissed me off haha. But whatever, I don't really blame her. I just tend to think girls make us (my friends at least) dumber than we already are.

I have another friend who would always rather play World of Warcraft than hang out with us. He was in one of the upper class raiding guilds and would always be on this schedule. Let me see if I can remember it. On tuesday and wednesday he raided 7-11. On thursday and friday he did heroics. Saturday he hung out with his girlfriend, took a day off Sunday (haha) and on monday he did battlegrounds or something. And on the days we would manage to get him out of his house to have lunch with us or something, he'd be pretty glued to his clock making sure he didn't miss his deadline to go home and raid. That was a pretty depressing year.

He's since quit and we see him a little more now. He still won't leave his house very much.

At this point of my life I wouldn't be in a band unless I had total control of it. There are too many responsibilities and all, I can sort of understand where he's coming from. I also understand why you'd be upset, but I hope that doesn't change your friendship.

Doesn't that happen to anyone? People wanna spend most of their free time around that person, at least for a while, it's only natural.

But regardless, I don't see a need to yoko this situation.

Thanks, stu :cool:

There is no such thing as total control of a band, unless it is a solo project.

Because my friend pre girlfriend is much different from now. It just sucks how relationships do that to people. And get this... he is 35 and the girl is 23. It is only a matter of time before it busts. Hopefully I will have something going before that so he can't try to come back.

Who at 35 keeps texting their girlfriend at every little break during practice? FUCK!

not exactly.

tho i do have a musical partner and we welcome collaborations, i can't have this "trying to please everyone weekly gathering" thing.

how old are you?

why don't you buy a gun and SHOOT HIM? ha!

This happened with many of my friends here. I'd still see em at school, but during weekends many of them just opted to hang out with their significant others, and didn't seem to step their foot outside their apartments. This obviously lead me to believe that dating makes people boring, but then again, I'm the one loitering at the same shithole pubs, getting drunk with the help of overpriced beer weekend after weekend. And I have no alternative to that.
Who's the boring wanker after all?

I'm 32.

Hmm..

There's gonna be some trouble
a whole house will need re-building
and everyone I love in the house
will recline on an analyst's couch quite soon
Your Father cracks a joke
and in the usual way
empties the room
Tell all of my friends
(I don't have too many
just some rain-coated lovers' brothers)
Dallow, Spicer, Pinkie, Cubitt
rush to danger
wind up nowhere
Patric Doonan-raised to wait
tired again-tried again, and
Now my heart is full
now my heart is full
and I just can't explain
So I won't even try to
Dallow, Spicer, Pinkie, Cubitt
Every jammy Stressford poet
Loafing oafs in all-night chemists
Loafing oafs in all-night chemists
underact-express depression
ah, but Bunnie I loved you
I was tired again
I tried again, and
Now my heart is full
Now my heart is full
and I just can't explain
so I won't even try to

...but then again

A bond of trust
Has been abused
Something of value
May be lost
Give up your job
Squander your cash - be rash
Just hold on to your friends
There are more than enough
To fight and oppose
Why waste good time
Fighting the people you like
Who will fall defending your name
Oh, don't feel so ashamed
To have friends
But now you only call me
When you're feeling depressed
When you feel happy I'm
So far from your mind
My patience is stretched
My loyalty vexed
Oh, you're losing all of your friends
Hold on to your friends
Hold on to your friends
Resist - or move on
Be mad, be rash
Smoke and explode
Sell all of your clothes
Just bear in mind :
Oh, there just might come a time
When you need some friends

er, but also..

The sanest days are mad
why don't you find out for yourself
then you'll see the price
very closely
some men here
they have a special interest
in your career
they wanna help you to grow
then syphon all your dough
why don't you find out for yourself
then you'll see the glass
hidden in the grass
you'll never believe me, so
why don't you find out for yourself
sick down to my heart
that's just the way it goes
some men here
they know the full extent of
your distress
they kneel and pray
and they say:
"long may it last"
why don't you find out for yourself
then you'll see the glass
hidden in the grass
bad scenes come and go
for which you must allow
sick down to my heart
that's just the way it goes
Don't rake up my mistakes
I know exactly what they are
and...what do YOU do?
well...you just SIT THERE
I've been stabbed in the back
so many many times
I don't have any skin
but that's just the way it goes


That's how I feel, at various moments.

There is nothing I want more than the interaction between myself and a few other musicians.

Sure, I absolutely see the logic in it, and I understand it. I'm not trying to Yoko-ize things. It's not about some 'bros before hoes' mentality or anything like that. But when you don't see your friend for a year and then he moves out of state and you don't know if you'll ever see him again. Well I know I felt a little bitter at the time. But we're cool now, he spends the night at my house sometimes twice a month.


Haha, I hear you. You and me both.

That's one thing, having a band is something else. I can respect anyone who's in a band, I just can't do it anymore.

so just jam with your friends and dont take it too seriously.

That is what we have been doing. Now he is too old for that since he got a new girlfriend. Straight up bullshit. What a waste of time.

you should have spread your legs for him, but no, you had to hold out, and now he left you

haha.

you need to stop making friends with lame fags

Some bands don't have that problem as the girlfriend is in the band! For example: Harriet Wheeler and David Gavurin from the Sundays; Robin Guthrie and Elizabeth Fraser from the Cocteau Twins; Siouxsie Sioux and Budgie from Siouxsie and the Banshees, and, of course, Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth.

Maybe you should be calling less attention to the girlfriend and more attention to the fact that someone you hang out with is lame enough and square enough to think that there is some kind of "age limit" to the validity of pursuing creative expression.

Is there anywhere online where you can hear what you guys played together? I could be great help to both you.

we were trying to get a full band going

translation: yr a tyrant and he'd rather spend time with a girl than listen to your narcissistic lambastings.

I see no problem with his behavior.

although, he'd be less of a pussy if he just told you to fuck off. unless, of course, you supply the drugs.

I think, in fairness, it's a bit rich calling him a friend when you're being an utter cunt to him on the internet. I've had people leave bands. I had people kick me out of bands. I wouldn't say they were 'pussies', just... well, whatever. Maybe that's the politest way he can find to say your music's ballsaggingly dull?

Could you all pretend my sentiment wasn't similar to space's? Thanks.

playing music is more fun with others included though....