Obi Wan laughed heartily at this and ripped off Prince Charles' cock with the force.

And Prince Charles screamed." No my lineage is ruined. Now I won't have grankids because William is a raging home."

Horribly disfigured and castrated, Prince Charles limped off miserably, faced by a howling crowd of laughing schoolchildren and Mark E. Smith egging them on with cries of 'Hey there, fuckface' and 'It's-uh, really-uh, funny-uh'.

Soon Tom Hanks appeared with his southern drawl form Forest Gump, and he said,"Momma used to say life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you gonna get."

Meanwhile, back at home Thurston Moore couldn't help but laugh that all of this happened because Kim burned the toast.

Yes the toast, shit i am still hungry!

Thurston Moore tried to salvage the situation by cutting little squares of mexican pitas and pretending they were toast.

This was to no avail, because, he understood the plight of the English populus, being ravaged by MES, Cantankerous and others, oh how Thurston wanted to see the blood spill.

So he grabbed a sword, and held it in a mighty position.

Unfortunately, it was a two-handed broadsword and Thurston's strength stats were not maxed enough to wield it; so he settled on dual MAC 10s instead.

Mark E Smith , however, had taken the 'monkey grip' feat, and could use the broadsword in one hand whilst defending himself with the other.

Mark E. Smth was now armed to the teeth, which prompted Trent Reznor to appear magically and sing, "With-uh teeth-uh."

Trent Reznor, who was widely reknowned for having the coolest most rocknroll name in the entire universe, began to drift in and out of consciousness, and was soon speeding through the galaxy at a magnificent pace, never to be seen again!

Predictably, since I'm in this thread, 1980's pop-punk band Tenpole Tudor came to join in the fray:

Meanwhile...
"Would you like to go out for an ice cream?" asked Toilet & Bowels of Cantankerous.

And Toilet and Bowels said "Yes, I will."

Tenpole Tudor began taking out their ten foot poles at the mention of ice-cream and began jumping around like crazed rabbits with a case of myxamatosis, all the while shouting, "Where's all the chocolates gone? Where's all the chocolates gone?"

Unfortunately, Toilet and Bowels and Cantankerous had already left on the abandoned bus, with Cantakerous driving and Toilet and Bowels riding; heading for an appropriately obscure and remote ice-cream parlour, somewhere in the English countryside, where the cows roamed in idyllic pastures, buzzing flies and the occassional moo the only sounds that can be discerned and the clouds roll by like quiet giants, unaware and blissfully carried by the wind.

Meanwhile Thurston Found a penny, and as soon as hepicked it up, his pants ripped in front of an audience, needless to say this was his nightmare he was having while sleeping.

The two lovers in a bus eventually arrived outside the fortified wall surrounding the city of York. They dumped the bus and decided to walk around before getting the icecream, 'cause they had heard that York had quite a few good music shops where they could find "Sisters of Mercy" Bootlegs for dirt cheap prices.

Really, throughout this whole ordeal the only safe people would turn out to be independent record shop owners, this is because anyone involved would without fail try to search out these humble establishments.

Thurston realised that the tearing of his pants could be a great idea for an album.

'Totally Torn doesn't sound like a good LP name to me', said Kim.

"Haha," laughed Thurston softly, "That's actually quite right. Hmm... I wonder..."

'How about Seriously Split?' Thurston enquired tentatively.

"What about Rather Ripped?" pipped a squeaky voice from the back.

'Heyyyyyyyyyy, that's not too bad', said Kim as she looked around to locate the source of the voice.

Jim O'Rourke was back, and he was tiny and dressed all in green!

'Top o' the mornin' to y'all, me little band o' faerie brethren' said Jim in a faux Irish accent.

"Jim who?" -- asked the detective.

"Why's there a detective here?" asked Jim, in between sips of Guinness.

'Yes, you may er, be wondering why I've gathered you all here, er, indeed many of you may not yet have realised that you were brought here by my, er, machinations; the reason is that I believe that one of you is the murderer, er, indeed the murderer of Lady Winstanly-Bonewaldsethone', said His Royal Highness Detective Prince Charles.

"Lady who??" asked a drunk.

"It wasn't me, to be sure, to be sure", said Jim the Leprechaun.

'Lady Winstanly-Bonewaldsethone', said His Highness Detective prince Charles to the drunk, 'the well-known social host and inbred parasitical dimwit, er, who was found, er, indeed, murdered in her own fridge, er, two moons ago'.

"Im sure Cantankerous did it!" -- shouted a drunk. Everyone recoiled at the stench of booze and diseased liver that came out of his mouth.

'The drunkard doth protesteth too much', screamed a baying mob, 'he's the one - hang him hang him hang him, hang him up to feed the ravens!'.

while the crowd gathered around the drunkard with the menace of an amoeba approaching a bacterium, jim unexpectedly broke into song:

"women of the world, take over
cause if you don't the world will come to an end
it won't be long..."

His Royal Highness Detective Prince Charles of Scotland Yard was momentarily distracted by this powerful yet simple paean to femininity and joined in the singing, turning his back on the assembled murder suspects...

Then Cantankerous grew some wings, or some sort of flying things, and flew away from the scene.