The water splashed across the pavement in a rather strange manner, almost as if its progress had been blocked by an invisible person.

'Tee hee', came the feminine voice, as it's invisible owner approached Toilet & Bowels.

The zombie stopped in its tracks and stared, for zombies are able to see the invisible, then turned and ran back to its earthy lair.

THe bus had been stationary at the nearby stop for a while, but it was now slowly reversing.

"Vehicle reversing... beep beep beep... Vehicle reversing", said the bus, repetitively.

Passengers were staring at the scene when - suddenly - Cantankerous' invisibility began to wear off.

A little boy dismounted from the bus, went up to the no longer invisible lady, and asked "Excuse me, are you the...", but got no further before he was knocked unconcious by a mysterious man with an ironing board.

'Who are you, strange-uh table-carrying man?', asked Mark E Smith, who had finally stopped singing to himself.

The mysterious man knocked Mark E. Smith out cold with his ironing board; Mark had only time to utter a stifled 'Uh'.

Bizarrely, the driver of the bus jumped out and grabbed Mark's unconscious body, dragged it onto the bus and sat it upright in the drivers seat.

The passengers of the bus started to protest this, but quieted down as they saw the zombie and the mysterious, iron board-carrying man wrestle their way onto the bus.

"Bus", he thought, his eyes bulging with vacant ire.

The passengers gasped as iron board man and zombie tussled their way off the bus again.

Mark E Smith had been conscious again for a minte or two and, sensing his chance, he turned the ignition key and sent the bus into reverse, heading straight for the zombie.

meanwhile, toilet & bowels was teetering and tottering to and fro with cantankerous.

'SPLAT!'

cantankerous fired a snot rocket at toilette when he wasn't looking and it hit him on the forehead.

Mark E Smith stepped on hard on the brakes of the bus, stopping just inches from the zombie and said 'I don't know, what's green-uh an flies over East German towns and cities-uh as athletes fall ill beneath it's path?'

'I thought it might have been-uh spitfires, but snotzies has a certain, uh, ring to it that makes me smile-uh and who's put that music on, I'm not sure I like it's style-uh', said MArk, now fed up of being a bus driver.

"Look! A clown!" exclaimed Cantankerous, in the hopes of distracting Mark E. Smith in order to escape with his bus and Toilette.

"That's not a clown," cried Kegmama, "That's the singer from Arctic Monkeys, run the fucker down!"

Little did she realize, in her drunken haze, that she had actually run over, and killed Richard D. James!!!

Kegmama did not know it yet, but she had just made a lifelong enemy, in the shape of Hip Priest.

hip priest kept on mumbling unpleasentries in the direction of kegmama , silently in his head he wished he never got out of the bad this morning, it turned cold again.

The sky darkened and turned black and gloomy; Mark E. Smith started to sing, "White collar hits motorway services/It's the hip priest."

he fell over

Everyone turned to watch as Mark E. Smith, singer of such classics as The Classical, fell over onto the pavement.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonicl Kegmama did not know it yet, but she had just made a lifelong enemy, in the shape of Hip Priest.

This is distressing news, so I'm going to talk about buses again!



Another bus came round the corner and, not expecting the earlier one to be there, crashed into the back of it.

"Oi, what's all this then?" cried the bus driver of the latter bus.

Then zombies started coming out of the bus.

The zombies found their comfort zone to be the first bus, and scattered across the pavement and through a broken pane of glass

Suddenly, Cantankerous began to projectile vomit all over Mark E. Smith.

Mark E. Smith had had just about enough of this, and grabbed his son, k-krack, and ran all the way to his suburban home.

''All of this because Kim Gordon burned some toast'' thought Mark E Smith

Getting back to Kim again, in her neighbourhood, a notorious bankrobber was on the loose, and decided he would switch up his gameplan, and rob some houses.

Little did the bankrobber/burglar was being followed by Scotland Yard's new rising star, His Royal Highness Detective Prince Charles.

Then Prince Charles Fell to his face, and was forever disfigured.

No one really cared, everyone thought Charles was a dick, and he should be punished, in this case, a disfigured face.

Scotland Yard was appalled at the news of their rising star's disfigurement and decided to send out their second best dick, the young and up-coming Obi Wan Kenobi.

But Prince Harry was mad, so he and Obi Wan Kenobi started a english duel.