list! list! list!



phone sex is just fabulous

im probably a 2 or 3 on kinseys scale
girls are a whole lot of fun but they cant satisfy everything.

Hahah.

I like when a chick tells me to pound her HOLE. Hahaha. I don't want to hear "pussy" or whatever, I like the idea that the very essence of being, this very essential part of being a woman, is reduced to that of just some HOLE. That's attractive to me, haha.

Also, I like to be called a dirty boy. That's a must.

Also, I like for my cum to be called dick snot. That's hot. Haha.

It's all in the context, I guess... this isn't the context, so it sounds out of place in this post but in the right situation, oh man. I guess that goes without saying.

Oh, I like for a girl to lift her nose up and look like a pig and tell me that they're my little fucking pig, hahaha.

I guess a girl really needs to be quick with me, needs to be able to outthink me sexually, haha. I like the idea of someone fucking with my mind.

I just like sex to be kinda weird. I dunno how, since sexually nothing is really "Weird" but I guess I just want something to be a bit off each time. Which, naturally, there usually is something off. But yeah, if things are going well and we're just having a good romantic sweet time and we're about to fuck, it's kinda boring. But if we're fighting, there's some kind of dramatic air underneath the surface of it all.. it's so much better.

I had some good sex recently, before the old lady moved (or, as I am calling it, "Taking a vacation") away... I was fucking her in the bathroom... for some reason, sex is better in a bathroom.

dick snot! haha i love you

totally agree about the angry sex, romance is a fucking bore. the weirder the better but sometimes i'm lazy and i just like to get fucked on my couch or in my bed you know? no frills shit.



edit


awww shit i just heard the key in the door. you know what that means


SEE YUH

haha

she thought of the dick snot thing, just said it to me out of nowhere, no idea where that came from but it was hot and it stuck! now it's a must...

haha. have fun.

dood....

Jus' bein' honest.

I've got nothing to hide.

An ex got me to fill an ice tray. Then promptly froze the wad. She was into Paul Simonon.

wait...what?!

Yeah, I knew a girl who kept her lover's cum in a jar...

That just so weird... I don't understand anything anymore

that's what I said.

pages 6-7 gave me a boner...cant wait to se the old-lady this weekend! shes in for a bruisin! (not literally, of course)

so liek what is the point of that shit

No idea. She was into Druids, spells etc. She had green, alien eyes. Apart from that, she was kewl. Oh, except for smoking my hair!

hahaha!

Hey swa(y), I actually ejaculated on my stomach last night. No joke haha.

Not impossible, but I sure wasn't you 20 years ago. I was still a virgin at that point actually, though I spent a fortune at strip clubs trying to educate myself and get over my paralyzing fear of women. Which might explain how my second marriage has turned into this weirdly surreal semi-open relationship with a 35 year old who looks 25 and is in the midst of this Suicide Girl Midlife Crisis that I must admit is hot as hell when it isn't a complete pain in the ass. That crap about "be careful what you wish for" is so fucking true!

whoa when did we go out

lolol

With my ex, we could have had sex everyday. I loved it when he would tie me up, and blindfold me. And then continue to play with me, then we would do the fucking. God I am tempted to call him for a quickie.

it's uncanny.

None of yr business:)

But they say those that constantly have sex on the brain are not gettin any. Those that are not compelled to talk about it are satisfied.. not looking for what they are missin out on.
Just think about it

i agree with this. there are exceptions i guess, but for the most part its true. because 15-18 year old males who only talk about sex/women are for sure not gettin any

larkin grimm rules!

I'm chatting to a possible orgasm on eurowoof.

Jesus, yr learn stuff every day.

I love you all.

orgasms- on average i get off at least once a day. but i am one of the lucky ones that can get off multiple times within that one time so its more then once a day...lovely.

i don't keep count or anything, it could be anywhere from once to like 20 times. but at least once a day. it's just unavoidable.

i can think of a few better places than the shower.....

Nah dude, after a while that can actually gunk up your drain. I learned that when I was 16. Way embarrassing.

What's wrong with a tissue?

what's wrong with my mouth?


SNAP.

I am going to assume that 'SNAP' is code for 'Sunday. Noon. Amerikangod's Place.' Because baby there is nothing wrong with your mouth.

hahaha i set myself up for that didn;t i

Remember in 'Jurassic Park' when Jeff Goldblum was all "Nature always finds a way?"

You can apply the same principle to me.