"what a badass i am," saith i, "i am just too badass to believe."

Hip Priest was shaking like a leaf as she said that.

Then in a grand voice, Thurston Moore started yelling obscenities, about love.

then this guy comes up and farts

the fart brought forth a mighty shit cloud, divine in nature, to cleanse the unclean and wash away purity.

Everyone in it's proximity started running in all directions.

Tokolosh appeared and twatted fartdude over the head with Hip Priest's broken flamethrower.

Fartdude cried, while his skull got crushed, by the heavy blows.

"What a moron," cantankerous shook her head at tokolosh.

"What's your problem?" asked Tokolosh.

cantankerous ignored tokolosh and instead continued on her merry way with a boombox on her shoulder, blasting NWA.

Tokolosh started to laugh, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

'MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ' came the cry.

A cat drove by very fast on a motorbike.

The cat's helmet suggested it was on pizza delivery duty, but the semi-concealed silver dagger told a different story.

Diesel was confused by the sight of a Bengali pizza delivery cat, and took a large gulp of whisky to put his mind straight again.

Pulling up at the roadside, the cat pulled out her own bottle of whisky and took a mouthful too, as if to steady her nerves; a quick glance down at the silver dagger revealed the object of her tension.

The jewel encrusted handle of the dagger hid amongst its gems the famous Diamond of Macatakakar, know across the Indian subcontient for it's ability to turn an ordinary household cat into a vicious killer.

the killer cat turns out to be/.....

Lee Ranaldo!