dang, i would certainly like to BE a MUTANT like THAT

nice Seinfeld reference. :D

hey! a little bedroom "surgery" only adds to the thrill

i always found these quite cool

Yeah, doctor adventures !

Isn't life a bitch

At least when you do have one it will be great!

Funny how Orgasms, Anal Sex, Cocks and Vaginas all attract the most attention on the non-sonic pages.

who is an anal virgin here?

I still don't need toys in my relationship,when that time comes we are breaking up.

mmm to be kegpapa for a month....

finally someone is clarifying the terms...

Anal virgins don't exists as many people are into anal sex, either straight, gay or (people in denial) Bi's.

I like him better when he watches me do stuff to my-self. Yes I am an exhibit.

tsch, tsch, your friend's guy just didn't handle the situation properly.

see, instead of panicking ,you tie her feet to the bed posts, put on some nitrile gloves, and coax her cooperation to remove the foreign object with competence and weird pleasure. bonus points for wearing a starched lab coat.

("take a deep breath and push... good!") :D

I have yet to try being tied, I'm saving that for a special occasion.

i figure removing a cockring would be no harder than removing*cough cough* an ice cube.

well i was gonna mention peppermints, and ginger, but i didnt want to scare anyone.

look, it's very easy to extract anything from a vagina provided the woman pushes her cervix down, like when she's trying to mount a diaphragm. a similar "push" as if taking a dump. the cervix comes down close to the vulva and it's easy to reach inside. just saying-- no need to panic.

and ice cubes need to be removed whole when they become uncomfortable. otherwise, what's the point of safe words?

now, about that offer you just made... :D

it sucks not having a good fuck, it really does; hope your situation gets solved fast...this day is sucking bad!!!

i have a boyfriend and he's really nice on me but he just don't know "what to do". and i don't wanna be unfaithful. it sucks

well teach him what to do.... do you fake orgasms?

sometimes. i'd like to teach him st but he don't understand. jesus this is so stupid.... i'm disgusted by him

Show/tell him what to do.

well you should break up then. by the way, it's probably weird for a guy to tell you this but don't ever fake orgasms, it makes the guy think he's doing it right when he's doing it wrong, and that means that you're less likely to have one next time, the more you fake the more you decreases your chances oif having a real one, and so on.

Can't be that hard to tell him. When he's y'know....going down...just say which bits feel nice etc. Communication is the key. Besides, aren't all women different?

yeah, you're right but whenever i tell him what i like him to do and he does it it's terrible. it seems that it'll never work

When you actually do orgasm again, it'll be the best!

]

...diagrams. No choice

thank you adam:)

it's sad. he needs just some practice i guess. How long have you two been together, if I dare to ask? I think a boy needs some time to realize what his lady's looking for, because, as it's been said before, each girl is different.

we are together for half a year so maybe it just needs time. or maybe it's time to break up. but to break up with one of the kindest guys i've ever had because he's terrible in bed is so hypocritical!

well, you just have to know what you're up to.

it's not hypocritical, unless you went around saying that people shouldn't get dumped for being terrible in bed. anyway, just because someone has qualities you like it doesn't mean you guys are compatible for a relationship

thats good advice^^

i hope it'll work.. i don't want to lose such great bf. thank you all!!

oh shit, you should have started from the beginning. "my boyfriend is a lousy lover" would have been a more appropriate thread. the original title threw us off a bit.

well that changes everything, no?

i see you've failed at teaching him. not sure you can "teach" him-- maybe get him a book? you know, telling him on the spot will only cramp his style if he's already insecure. let him read, soak it in, put it into practice. is he's a lazy motherfucker, then kick him to the curb.

now about the kindness, etc-- it's easier for a person to learn to fuck than to learn to be a decent human being. so i'd exert a little patience. some people have traumas & shit & it takes time, patience & understanding & work to unleash the beast within. by patience i don't mean sitting around doing nothing, i mean doing something about the problem and giving time for the results to happen. he might be a late bloomer (how old is he anyway?). then again maybe deep inside he really wants a man-- but who knows?

by the way you haven't explained very well in what way he is "bad" in the sack. i mean, is his dick limp or is he a premature ejaculator or is he constitutionally unable to eat pussy or what? does he not do foreplay? is he so, so very kind that he does not want to treat you like a sexual object , but prefers to hold hands and talk about his dream upholstery instead? sorry to be blunt, but with these matters it's better to avoid beating around the *cough cough* bush, no?

so, what exactly IS the problem?

well???

gotta go now to hospital, later, thx

oh! :D

so the problem exactly is that whenever he touches me, it makes me sick. maybe it's not his fault then.. dunno

Well then lose him. You're obviously not attracted to this guy. Just leave it as friends, he sounds good for that.

oh well, some you win, some you lose, life goes on, etc