The water splashed across the pavement in a rather strange manner, almost as if its progress had been blocked by an invisible person.

'Tee hee', came the feminine voice, as it's invisible owner approached Toilet & Bowels.

The zombie stopped in its tracks and stared, for zombies are able to see the invisible, then turned and ran back to its earthy lair.

THe bus had been stationary at the nearby stop for a while, but it was now slowly reversing.

"Vehicle reversing... beep beep beep... Vehicle reversing", said the bus, repetitively.

Passengers were staring at the scene when - suddenly - Cantankerous' invisibility began to wear off.

A little boy dismounted from the bus, went up to the no longer invisible lady, and asked "Excuse me, are you the...", but got no further before he was knocked unconcious by a mysterious man with an ironing board.

'Who are you, strange-uh table-carrying man?', asked Mark E Smith, who had finally stopped singing to himself.

The mysterious man knocked Mark E. Smith out cold with his ironing board; Mark had only time to utter a stifled 'Uh'.

Bizarrely, the driver of the bus jumped out and grabbed Mark's unconscious body, dragged it onto the bus and sat it upright in the drivers seat.

The passengers of the bus started to protest this, but quieted down as they saw the zombie and the mysterious, iron board-carrying man wrestle their way onto the bus.

"Bus", he thought, his eyes bulging with vacant ire.

The passengers gasped as iron board man and zombie tussled their way off the bus again.

Mark E Smith had been conscious again for a minte or two and, sensing his chance, he turned the ignition key and sent the bus into reverse, heading straight for the zombie.

meanwhile, toilet & bowels was teetering and tottering to and fro with cantankerous.

'SPLAT!'

cantankerous fired a snot rocket at toilette when he wasn't looking and it hit him on the forehead.

Mark E Smith stepped on hard on the brakes of the bus, stopping just inches from the zombie and said 'I don't know, what's green-uh an flies over East German towns and cities-uh as athletes fall ill beneath it's path?'

'I thought it might have been-uh spitfires, but snotzies has a certain, uh, ring to it that makes me smile-uh and who's put that music on, I'm not sure I like it's style-uh', said MArk, now fed up of being a bus driver.

"Look! A clown!" exclaimed Cantankerous, in the hopes of distracting Mark E. Smith in order to escape with his bus and Toilette.