"Drink this potion", said sonicl.

She drank it down and in an instant, she became invisible.

Cantankerous cried for a moment at the thought that no-one would be able to see her beauty, but then giggled at the thought of being able to pinch peoples' bottoms unnoticed.

Within ten minutes of being invisible, she had pickpocketed 40 people and was on her way to London.

'You've got to pick a pocket or two, boys,
You've got to pick a pocket or two.'

In London, the late Ron Moody span in his grave.

A faint cry of 'urghhhhhhhhhhh' seemed to come from the ground in the cemetary.

The necrophiliac who had been trying to dig up the grave gave up his work, disappointed at the thought of unearthing a live person instead of a corpse.

He walked off, listening to 'Just so you Know' on his mp3 player, as a finger poked it's way through the earth.

Mark E Smith saw the finger poking through the earth, and asked himself, "What-ah the fuck am I doing in London-ah, with the finger of a Victorian thief-ah poking through the ground-ah?"

Then he began humming, 'Zombie Victorian pickpockets, zombie victorian pickpockets-uh, back from the grave in the city-uh' and realised that there was the possibility of a song there.

it started to grow darker and rain fell from a imposing sky

A shadowy figure walked past the cemetery gates, carrying an ironing board.

'Muddy zombie victorian pickpockets, muddy zombie victorian pickpockets-uh, back from the grave in the city-uh, leaving dirty footprints on the pavement-uh'

A second shadowy figure passed, carrying a Sainsburys carrier bag.

A visit to the reduced section had yielded impressive results; cream cakes, fresh vegetables, a small block of cheese and a pizza all for £1.74.

Toilet and Bowels sure knew how to entertain a lady.

'Oh yes, everything's groovey and someone's gonna score tonight, gonna impress that lady and shes gonna OH HOLY YOIKES A ZOMBIE!'

The zombie walked stiffly towards Toilet & Bowels, its arms outstretched, and asked "Won't you walk with me a while?"

A bus went by, splashing water across the pavement.